Oh my, what a week! My son is officially an ECU Pirate and the lessons I learned this week as I moved him into a dorm, AWAY FROM HOME, for the first time are ones I want to share. Yes, they are in order.
ONE: Being a mom is gift! The joy in taking Dylan to college flooded me with memories of eighteen years of creating a fabulous relationship with my amazing son.
TWO: Love is the answer. Loving Dylan unconditionally for 18 years as he learned, grew and made mistakes is the best thing I have done in my life. There were days (and weeks) when I questioned his judgement and decisions but supported him anyway and just chose LOVE over all of the other feeling that I had happening. Observing his kindness towards so many new people on the campus and hearing the words he uses to communicate make my heart so proud.
THREE: Knowing my children’s friends makes me a better parent. Getting to know and spending time with Dylan AND HIS FRIENDS throughout his childhood was really smart. I know him better because I know his friends. They have shared and trusted me with their feeling and stories and now at ECU, there they are in the dorm across the street. We all hang out on social media together so I am getting glimpses at Dylan’s first hours and days in college in a mutual environment. I know they have means of communicating that do not include me and for that I am thankful. I don’t want to know it all. Of that I am sure.
FOUR: School was not all about getting good grades. I am so thankful that Dylan spent time doing so many other things besides studying. His job at the ice cream shop taught him to be responsible, to be on time and how to work with others. His many hours spent long boarding and filming videos taught him about the value of a shared hobby with friends and created memories that will last forever. I am so thankful that I supported his hobbies now and did not nag about school. He made it without me being a downer.
FIVE: I don’t need to control my children’s every move. Who knew, teenage boys can decorate. He had his own ideas for his dorm and when I let go of my desire to control how it would look, he could totally handle it. I love that he worked things all out with his new roommate with such grace and ease. He knew what he wanted to pack and I trusted him to take what he would need. He did amazing.
I am at the airport heading back to Colorado today. I know that he is ready! I am proud of him and equally proud of myself. Cheers to both of us as we move forward into this new stage of relationship!